Chemo #4

Chemo #4 is in the books. One-third of the way through!!! For those of you who have known me long, particularly in my college days/early twenties, I really enjoy fractions. In particular, I would keep close attention to the mile markers on my drive home to Twin Lakes from Minneapolis. On countless trips, I would think, “Oh! There is mile-marker 138. I’m half-way there!” or “Exit 95, I’m done with one-third of my journey.” So we’ll call this entry Exit 95.

This chemo treatment and recovery were much easier to handle. It was simpler to prepare for, without the added stress and grief I have in the previous treatment. Also, my parents were visiting and it was good to experience this with them. I know it is not easy for my family to be far away, especially during treatment. I find it to be a painless, boring process in which it is not necessary for others to come to. However, I have to remind myself that experiencing it with loved ones is important. It connects us, and gives them a greater understanding of my treatment. So I welcome the companionship. My parents and I used the chemo time to continue going through family photos and organizing them. We had some great laughs and sentimental moments in the process.

Per usual, I had a new chemo shirt. This time it was given to me by my husband. It was the first chemo he did not attend, so I really appreciated him giving me a token of him. It’s actually the shirt he bought for himself for my chemo- Black Sabbath’s Born Again. That statement can mean different things for different people. I suppose for me, life as I knew it ended on March 30, the day of my diagnosis. This is a new life, a new reality. So in a way, I’m born again.

My side effects actually lessened in strength, but prolonged. This is more preferred than shortened, more intense effects. I had little taste distortion, which is extremely helpful with maintaining my hydration. Previously, both water and milk were intolerable for a few days. I also did not have much fatigue, which makes exercising much easier. After treatment, I went on a 15-mile bike ride and my mom was able to join me for river path part. My previous path and park I went to after chemo changed, but for the good. It was nice to sit in different spot for my breathing exercises, and have my parents close.

Since treatment, I’ve had some really great times, and one we’ll just call a good learning experience. My good friend Beth was up visiting and it was coincidentally her birthday weekend. So Friday, we had a great night out with other close friends. However, in the middle of dinner I had a really bad colostomy bag break. I had to leave the restaurant immediately to go home and clean up. It was awkward to handle, and an unfortunate reminder that despite my best efforts, things aren’t normal. I had a good cry, licked my wounds and went back out to join the group again. I learned that despite my best efforts, these things will happen and it’s okay. The important thing is to not let it keep me down.  

On Sunday, I went to the Pride parade in Minneapolis with Kelly and her friends. We biked there, which was a nice opportunity to bike part of the Cities I don’t usually go to. The parade was MASSIVE. There were tens of thousands of on-lookers and over 150 different participating groups marching. It was wonderful gathering of support and love. I’m proud to be an ally.

Tuesday marked the nine-year anniversary of Paul and my first date. Big to-do’s are not our style, but given all we have been through it was important to celebrate. Nine years is just the beginning for us, and it’s such a delight to enjoy someone’s company for both big events and simple, daily encounters. We took the opportunity to get some fantastic Greek food and see the documentary on Mr. Rogers- Won’t You Be My Neighbor. It brought back such wonderful childhood memories, and yet another overwhelming feeling love and compassion. I loved it, and highly recommend seeing it. Be prepared to cry though. Lots of crying in that theatre. But crying is not a bad thing. I’m learning that more and more. Fully experiencing what you go through everyday and letting things soak in for all the “feels” is far better than moving quickly and hoping for better things to come. The best things are around you now.

Sally Forth.